Back again.

Well, once again, I'm back. I just got out of a year+ long relationship, which was amazing overall. The main lesson I learned from that one is that long distance relationships just don't work. period. Maybe for some people, but definitely not for me. A good lesson to learn.

So now I'm back again, unfortunately I'm kind of feeling like I'm starting over in that I've been out of the game for so long. I honestly forget many of the lessons I've learned over the last few years and can barely approach women anymore. Ah well, I guess there's always time to fight back to the surface. So now I'm dedicating myself to posting my successes and more importantly, my failures, so that I can learn through analyzing these experiences. After reading over my last posts, it's energized me and motivated me once again.

Here's to new beginnings.

I've been reading a lot of Kurt Vonnegut and Chuck Palahniuk lately, (by the way, stop reading only pick up stuff, read a good book once and a while), and I realized the other day why I admire their writing style so much. Kurt Vonnegut and Chuck Palahniuk have many similarities, but the one that strikes me as most admirable is that they both just don't give a damn what anyone else thinks of them. They both create and pour their souls into beautiful writing that often offends and disgusts, but is renowned world wide. They write not for the fans, they write for the love of writing, not giving a damn what anyone else thinks. This is an important life lesson as well.

I'm not saying go crazy and run naked around the streets, a little social grace is often important, however, loving and accepting yourself for who you are, and not basing your self-image on what other people think of you is an incredibly important characteristic. It is also one most all of us struggle with, myself included.

Think though, about the people you admire most, and the most successful, genuine pick up artists, are they ever self-conscious? Do they ever worry about what other people think of them? Probably not.

How Not to Drink

Tucker Max Drunk: "'Tucker Max' is the ultimate drunk stage. Never mind about operating heavy machinery; I have trouble figuring out door knobs. The only benefit is that I don't have to worry about driving because I can't even find my keys."

Here's my story about one of my "Tucker Max" Drunk nights in which I hope to make clear the reason not to get this absolutely ridiculously drunk, (for those unfamiliar with Tucker Max, he is a wonderfully hilarious internet writer, check it out).

The day/night begins at my friends house "Sam" at which we decided to each drink a six pack of killians before the Wilco show at 7 PM. 7 PM rolls around, we had managed to obtain quite a bit more alcohol and subsequently consume said alcohol. We decided that it'd also be a good idea to each bring along a flask of the good old Jim Beam. 7:30, we make it to the show, pretty shit faced already, and the flasks weren't even open yet, immediately head to the bathroom and chug down some straight whiskey, make it to our seats and stand, or waver perhaps would be a better description as standing was far from our capabilities at this point. Upset that our seats were not closer and seeing the large teaming mass of people gathering in front of the stage, we decide that we deserved to be there. Unfortunately, the ushers did not agree with us, having a lot of whiskey in you makes one just slightly overconfident, so I decided that I could just flirt my way into the front section. I was telling the usher, who was quite cute actually, (I think, it was dark and I was drunk so who knows) how she seemed real nice and should just let us in, I'm not quite sure what I said at that point, but it had her and her friend giggling. Fate was not smiling on us however, as they were about to let us in, another Usher, a nasty little short guy with oversized glasses stuck to his face, decided I was being rude. I declined to agree and he said that if I didn't stop harassing the girls he'd have to throw me out. Now I'm a tall guy, 6'4" at last check, and the thought of a tiny guy who came up barely to my chin physically throwing me out sent me laughing, the girls let him know we weren't harassing them but the little bastard stuck to his guns and with a rather unfriendly look demanded I leave, I made some more derogatory comments and left, thanking the girls for their company.

After the show, I realized it was the monday after easter, here in this town that means only one thing. Dyngus Day. yea, it's as crazy as it sounds. Dyngus Day occurs every year the monday after easter and is celebrated at my favorite bar by dressing up like a complete asshole and getting hammered. Perfect place for me, I already had one requirement fulfilled. At this point, in my hazy head, I'm the biggest badass in the world, and everyone should know me, so I made sure they did. Most of this point in the night is mostly me in black out drunk, so I will recount what I can recall. I remember introducing myself to every girl I saw in the bar, and by introducing myself I mean that I was walking past each of them saying "Hi" and not waiting for a response before moving on. After a while of this I had some random girl buying me drinks, which was lovely of her, really, I needed more to drink, I'm sure that was obvious. I talked to her for a while about things I have no memory of, and apparently just wandered off. I ran into a few more girls I had chatted with that night, a few of which yelled "HEY! You ditched me!" to which I responded with a confused look, shrugged shoulders, and laughter, as I had no memory of talking to them in the first place, let alone having actually taken the time to get to know them to the point where they would be angry that I "ditched" them. I ran into the girl buying me drinks again and then the bad behavior began. She decided to make out with me in the bar, a desire I happily obliged. Then I saw her: The Ex. And not just an ex, one of those bad ex's that you're still kind of pissed at. Completely happy to see her at the time however, I made friendly chat, and, my arm around this new girl, reached over, stole my ex's drink and chugged down. This did not stand well. She made nasty comments, which, as bad ass as I was at the time, I decided I was not going to have any of. I returned her graceful comments with a flip of the finger and a stare down, I win. That's the part of the night I remember, unfortunately apparently I was too wasted to remember I had a girl buying me drinks and just decided to wander home, somehow achieving the goal of my bed, however, sleeping with shoes still on is never comfortable.

The moral of the story is, too much of the drink can make for entertaining stories, but botched pick up.

Make Female Friends

Here's some good news to all those that, like me, sometimes tend to fall into that "friend" status with girls. Well, it's not such a bad things at times.

This weekend a good friend of mine came down from out of town and brought his girlfriend and her friend with him. Well, turns out that since I had become pretty good friends with his girlfriend, she had chatted me up to her friend and had convinced her to come down with her with the sole purpose of hooking us up. Not a bad deal.

Well, everything worked out, barely any work required, all the hard social proof work was done for me. So guys, keep in touch with those "just friends" girls, even as them if they have any nice, attractive friends for you.

It's Been A While

Hey I'm back, it's been a while, but I've been really busy with non PU related issues. But anyhow, on to a new story shall we?

Tuesday night, battle of the bands. I went out, completely just focusing on supporting my good friends band and having a good time with a few of my friends, no PU on the mind at all. Of course now I realize that this calm mindset of not worrying about it is what really sets you up to do your best work. I find if I focus on having a good time and being a fun and interesting person, then people come to me, and it really requires little to no work.

Anyway, to continue. I run into an ex's roommate at the show (as well as the ex), (sidenote: this is an ex for which i was a complete and utterly useless AFC a few months ago) and we're all chatting for a while, ex leaves, so i'm stuck with the two roomates, both incredibly gorgeous, poor me. We talk a bit about the bands, all that, head over to a different bar and get a few drinks, I'm still just trying to have a good time, so I'm succeding in making everyone laugh and start gettin some good kino from both roommates, but one in particular's giving me the eye.

We head back to the battle of the bands to see the last band play and before we head in the one who was eyeing me pulls me aside and tells me to come hang out over at their place afterwards. I'm in no rush to go hang out at an ex-girlfriends house trying to get with her roommate so I tell her to come over to mine instead, she responds with a "We'll see," and a little grin then heads inside. After the bands are over I ask her what she's doing and she tells me she's going to bed, so I say that she should come back to my place and meet my dog, (I really do have a dog by the way, that's not some odd sexual inuendo) she agrees and we head off into the night. Lovely evening overall.

Lessons? Well, definitely learned that as long as I'm having a good time, other people will have a good time around me as well, and this is an attractive quality. Let loose, don't bust yourself over the head if you're not picking up chicks everytime you talk to a new set, just have a good time and let in flow out of you instead of forcing it.

- Sub

Night Out

Alright, here's a little field report for you.

Went out last night and met a guy in the community for the first time, whiplash. Pretty good guy, met up and jumped right into it at a local bar. Started out just socializing with a few kids I knew there to get warmed up, met a few of their friends, had a few beers, and started up the engine. The process of warming up is very important I found out as I was way more successful last night than most nights due to not jumping into it cold, and instead having a few conversations that I knew would turn out well. This sets you in a good mood and makes it easier to approach. I have to admit, Whiplash did most the approaching, and I was often jumping into his sets to wing for him, which went well, however I really need to work on opening still. One set in particular went very well, I found him talking to two pretty attractive girls, say red-dress and red-dress's friend. I introduced myself and started chatting up RD while Whiplash talked to RD's friend, found out they were both in a sorority and RD was born and lived in Singapore for a while. This led to further conversations about travel etc, and things went very smoothly, we ejected from the set and wandered around a bit. I was noticing that whenever I walked by RD she would wave and/or wink at me, I would just give a grin and keep walking which turned out well. On the way out we saw the both of them smoking outside, chatted em up a bit more then number closed RD after a bit. Went on out to get some grub with Whiplash and talked about various methods and went home about 2 AM. Pretty great night overall for a wednesday, good to meet someone from the community finally. I feel I could've definitely escalated more, I did some good kino however, which was returned as well. I need to work on escalation and the approach/open mainly as the conversations I had once i got into them, overall, went pretty well.

Science, Religion, and Pick Up

Hoo ha. Another brain teaser.

Quantum Physics, Religion, Pick Up, and You.

Now, where to begin... Physics is an extremely delicate and more often than not, not completely understand, science. What works in the material viewable realm begins to break down as you move to a molecular level, Newtonian physics as we understand it, is no longer valid. This is incredible once one thinks of the ramifications, physics, the laws that govern our very existence, aren't valid? Woah there. Crazy. This is where Quantum physics comes into play. At a very small level, we find properties of quantum physics such as entanglement and superposition, that state that not only can a SINGLE object be in anywhere from one to three THOUSAND places at the same time, mind blowing enough in itself, two previously connected electrons can be split apart and if one causes something to happen to one, the other one will respond in the same manner, no matter the distance between them. These are discoveries that are not and to some degree cannot be understood completely, however, they work, and are repeatable. So what you ask? I'm not an electron, what does it matter to me? that's so small it doesn't even matter.

Engtanglement in Quantum physics corresponds highly to buddhist philosophy of unity, oneness. That we are all fundementally interconnected in some manner, thusly when one harms another, or causes suffering, one should expect to receive suffering in return. Well, here's a repeatable study for you, one subject is placed in a room with a flashing light, this flashing light obviously has effect on the brain, another subject is placed in another room and concentrates on the other person. Repeatably, this study has found that the brain of the subject in the dark room is effected in the same manner of the subject in the room with the flashing light. Woah. That's pretty interesting if you ask me.

Wow, that's interesting and alll, but what the helld oes this have to do with pick up? After all, you're supposed to be writing about pick up right Sub? Yea, that's right. I am. Let's dive in shall we? When one is in the process of interacting with another, so many things effect the outcome, what one says, how one acts, the tone of ones voice, ones body language etc. In a quantum perspective, ones thoughts would also effect the outcome as in the light test, as one brain can effect another. Thusly how you are thinking is effecting the situation, ones attitude is therefore key. More conventional scientific thought would support this as well, as ones thoughts release chemical changes in the body, creating changes in the physical and subtle bodily appearance.

In conclusion, love yourself, love others, have fun with the interaction and interact with a positive attitude, KNOWING how it's going to turn out is much more effective than hoping it will. You are a master of your own reality to a degree most of us are incredibly ignorant of, but the posibilities are limitless.

Buddhism and Pick Up

This is a post I made in the Unofficial Charisma Arts Forum:

I spent a bit of time in a Chan (chinese zen) monestary in Taiwan, living the monastic life, but not taking the monastic vows. I did take the three refuges and 4 of the 5 precepts at the end of my stay.

The three refuges are, refuge in the Buddha: the way i understand this is to convey the idea that "hey the Buddha was a really intelligent guy, lets in no manner of speaking worship him, but perhaps he had some great ideas which we can learn from". secondly, refuge in the dharma, or looking to the scriptures and teachings of the buddha for insight. thirdly refuge in the sangha, just meaning to look to your fellow practitioners for help and guidance.

The five precepts, as they explained to me, should be taken by lay people (those followers not monastics) only when they feel they have already been incorporating those ideas into their lives, the precepts as the explained are a way to reinforce those ideas. Firstly, no killing, i will not even kill a spider, it's easy enough just to take it outside, this corresponds to the oneness of life and having compassion for all beings. Secondly, no stealing, i've never been much of a klepto so that wasn't too tough, just meaning that when one steals one creates suffering for another, so thusly it should be avoided. Thirdly, no lying, a little tougher, but again made due to the fact that when one lies, one creates suffering. Fourthly, no sexual misconduct, this means no rape or sex with married women (for us lay people at least). Fifthly, no intoxicants, now, when i took the precepts I was being honest in myself in that i was not ready to take this, so i did not, eventually yes I will, but not yet, this precept was created in order to help prevent followers from losing their mindfulness. It is also important to note that the precepts are in no way commandments as one may look at them, one will not be punished by any divine being, it is simply guidelines and suggestions on how one may live a happier life.

Now people mentioned that Buddhism focuses on the suffering and is thusly a very dark and dreary spiritual path. I highly disagree to this statement, not as a personal defense but in scholarly disagreement. Firstly, just from experience, I have never been happier in my current lifetime, nor seen happier people, than when i was in the monestary, nothing but smiling faces. From a scholarly view we see that it is easy to misunderstand the four noble truths (all life is suffering, the cause of suffering is desire, there is a way out of suffering, this way is the eight fold path, which nanda discussed in detail) as being completely focused on negative aspects of life, and I myself at one point disliked buddhism due to this fact. However, through experience and study, i have found that this is simply the setup that one must come to understand and accept in order to no longer focus on these aspects. At a base, perhaps unconcious level, I think we all understand the validity of the noble truths, we are all constantly looking for ways in which to improve something in our lives that seems to lack, we often do so through desiring and obtained more and more unneccessary material goods. Buddhism is simply pointing at this fact directly and up front, allowing one focus on the positive aspects of life once one realizes the negative and allows one to more successfully seek a life of true happiness. Now this is no easy task by any means, one generally speaking not attainable even in your current lifetime, which brings up another point, reincarnation.

Such a lofty goal of giving up all material desires and living life in pure happiness and contentment is most likely impossible in your current life, and Buddhism states that we have all lived countless (i believe in the lotus sutra they state a number that equates to the each grain of sand in the ganges having a world system in which there is a ganges river and couting the grains of sand in every single world system, alot in other words) number of lives in every conceivable form. This being said, when one is reborn a human, it is a great accomplishment, not an easy task, so there be proud of yoursleves everyone . This also means that we're not expected to be perfect, we are all have different levels of attainment (thus every religion, path, and view is to be respected) and a lovely quote from the Buddha, "Your work is to discover your world, and then, with all your heart, give yourself to it," in other words, find what makes you truly happy, and what most people find, is that what truly makes them happy, makes other's happy as well, love yourself, love others, and most importantly. Have fun.

How then, does this all relate to pickup, you ask? Good question. But in a very Buddhist way, everything relates to everything right? haha, got you there . But seriously, any method, that requires one to rigidly conform to a set form, is a negative method, thusly in my mind MM is negative and JM is positive. There are things to learn from MM but the way in which it requires conformity and sneaky methods is not healthy in my mind. JM on the other hand, allows one to bind the method to ones own mindset, it encourages positive usage and social mastery, after all who can one make happier than ones friends? So my advice then would be, find what you like about each and every form and take bits and pieces of everything, mold it into something that YOU enjoy and benefit from, do not mold yourself to it.

Peace my friends.

The First Night

Well, of course this wasn't my FIRST night out, but for blog purposes we'll count last night as the first night of pick up. It went decently well, went to the opening of a bar in downtown Cincinnati, Vinyl I believe was the name, not a bad place. Pretty boring at first, a lot of men 50+ hitting on young girls, a little creepy... but I was sitting with my friends just tryin to enjoy myself when we are approached by two girls, one a 4 the other an 8, the 4 sits next to my friend while the asian 8 sits next to me, we start chattin' them up, figure out the asian girl's a whisky fan (after my own heart), so we start getting into a good conversation and she invites me outside for a cigarette, now I'm not a smoker but I followed and began the kino, lightly touching the upper arm at her high points and she quickly reciprocates, I know it's going well and head for the bathroom.

When I get back she lets me know she's going to a club with her friends and invites me along, I agree and me, her, and all our friends trudge to some boring club, she drags me around into the VIP area (somehow), and i escalate the kino and SOI (Statement of Intent) her, letting her know how sexy she is, this works suprisingly well, and we start making out. We end up heading to a pizza place in a pretty ghetto area of downtown in which a little guy with a gold grill tries to fight me. Instead of getting angry I simply calmly laugh and walk away, much more effective to show the girl that I'm calm and in control than a hot head.

After a while, she says she has to head home for the night and I hand her my phone and tell her to put her number in, she agrees and I immediately call it and say, "hey, now you've got my number." An effective little trick from juggler (He states that girls rarely pick up unknown numbers and it's best to have yours in their phone as well by the end of the night, this being the easiest method). I call it a night and head home, kiss close and number close on first night, not bad.

About My Style

Ok, here's some background on the style I use. Now, I've read Neil Strauss's The Game, read almost all of Mystery's books, listened to countless David DeAngelo tapes and videos, read and listened to all of Jugglers books and podcasts, and gone into some wacky inner-game stuff with Stephane from ideagasms and Steve P, and more.

I'll tell you now that I understand that Mystery's method has some good points, but I think it's a little too depressing in a way, it's focusing way too much on seeing women as "targets" versus seeing them as human beings and I believe that it sets up a paranoid version of pick up, where every guy is out to AMOG you and every girl has to be conquered. I do believe there are positive aspects of it.

I believe that one should take in as much information as possible and learn from as many people as possible, the pick up arts are not formulas that you must mold yourself into, it is a collection of information that you mold to yourself as you see fit, the idea is to take information and use it in a way that fits your personality, in that way we all retain our individuality and personality versus becoming the robots that Neil Strauss warns us about in The Game.

Right now, I find Juggler and Stephane's information the most helpful to me personally, they approach pick up in a positive light, using the skills to apply to everyday life, fixing the major issues, being inner game, and enjoying just being friendly to everyone they meet.

The Beginning

Hey eveyone out there in PUA land. We're all here for the same reasons, get out of AFC, or enjoy your life as a PUA, helping all of us AFC's get out of our frustrated frame. As for me, I'm a learner. This blog is for me to post my journey and keep a record of this tumble through the dating world. Who knows where I'll end up but this is for the records, and hopefully at the end someone can gain hope in seeing the progress of an AFC to PUA.